Sunday 23rd April, 2pm
Newcastle @ 17/20
Spurs @ 16/5
Draw @ 14/5
view odds
Yes, it’s very much squeaky bum time, folks. We’re at the business end of proceedings; we’ve made it to the Gold Run; we’ve stepped inside the Crystal Dome, and the fans are about to start.
From here on in, the stakes will be at their most elevated. Every few days a match will take place that will have the capacity to define, to a very great extent, whether its participants have had a good season or not.
Such clashes represent the very essence of competitive sport. It’s not about who possesses the most skill, it’s about whether you can reproduce the skill you possess when the pressure is at its most intense; when you, your teammates, and your fans desire it the most.
To bottle or not to bottle – one could say – that is the question.
Newcastle v Tottenham Hotspur at 2pm on Sunday has the potential to be such a pivotal fixture. It could be a genuine Sliding Doors game for both teams. The winner gets a night out with Gwyneth Paltrow to a fancy restaurant; and the loser gets a night in with sachet of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Gut Microbiome Superpowder. (Yes, that is a real thing.)
Both teams lost last week – Newcastle against an inspired Aston Villa; Spurs, more damagingly, against relegation-threatened Bournemouth. But both are still in a strong position. And a win for either side this weekend will provide a sizeable boost to their top four ambitions.
But when you look at their respective forthcoming fixtures, it becomes clear who really needs the three points. Newcastle’s next two matches are very winnable bouts against Everton (away) and Southampton (home).
Spurs, meanwhile, have to take on Manchester United (home) and Liverpool (away). And are they currently displaying the kind of form that could see them bagging three points from either of those games?
Defeat on Sunday could cause their season to collapse like a Jenga tower. Swelling discontent and rancour from the stands coalescing dangerously with a dearth of inspiration on the pitch, triggering an implosion on a massive scale. And, in the aftermath, Tottenham could regress; once more assume the form of a sleeping giant, or a white zombie.
This is, perhaps, a familiar experience for Spurs fans. And for those supporters with an interest in philosophy it may bring to mind the concept of Eternal Recurrence. The belief that arose from the philosophical doctrine of Stoicism, and was later finessed by Friedrich Nietzsche. Namely, that life is an endless repeat of the same events; an infinite loop that cannot be broken.
For Spurs this seems to consist of brief periods of hope and optimism and minor success, followed by much longer periods of frustration and anger and ineptitude…repeated again and again…over and over…forever and ever and ever.
Still, at least their stadium is nice. And some thinkers have argued that it is possible to break from the loop. Would a win against Newcastle initiate such consequences?
There will be significant ramifications in other games this weekend too. Two FA Cup semi-finals, for example, are set to take place at Wembley. The most interesting of the pair pits Brighton & Hove Albion against Manchester United in a repeat of the 1983 final.
Both teams can comfortably state that they have had good seasons, but the opportunity still exists to make them greatseasons. Manchester United will seek to make a swift recovery from their ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly’ against Sevilla in the Europa League, and claim the chance to compete for a trophy in another blue-riband squeaky bum occasion.
But it’s squeaky bum time for everyone, really, however comfortably your team sits in the table. To paraphrase another celebrated philosopher, John Donne: ask not for whom the bum squeaks, because – whoever you support, at this time of year – it squeaks for thee…
For all your bets on the Premier League, visit our dedicated football betting page.
