SPURS VS NEWCASTLE
Sunday 10th December, 4:30pm
Spurs @ 19/20
Draw @ 14/5
Newcastle @ 11/4
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‘He’s behind you!’ Brace yourself for the shrill, predictable cry that will begin to reverberate through provincial theatres this weekend as we reluctantly find ourselves in Panto Season – my least favourite of all the seasons.
But – to be fair – overripe acting; nonsensical plotting; malfunctioning props; and humourless, overpaid divas are also a prominent feature of the football season – which happens to be one of my favourites.
And there are further similarities. This week, for example, Erik ten Hag claimed to a sceptical press conference gathering that his players were firmly behind him. And, following a much-improved display against Chelsea in midweek, it would seem he was broadly right – much to the delight of a rapt, shrieking, gesticulating audience at the Theatre of Dreams.
It was a victory that saw the Manchester United manager shovel much of the pressure he has felt in recent days back onto the driveway of Mauricio Pochettino. Another poor performance from The Blues that could have people again asking of the Argentinian: to what extent is the Chelsea board behind him?
Throwing a few random objects together to form a lively but ultimately disjointed lump might be a strategy that can lead to you winning the Turner Prize; but, based on present evidence, it isn’t enough to ensure Champions League qualification.
There were pantomimic exclamations from the terraces in midweek too. Despite a 5-0 thumping at Craven Cottage, the Nottingham Forest faithful continued to provide cheers and a standing ovation for their beleaguered boss Steve Cooper. Defeat at home to an increasingly impressive Bournemouth side, however, saw Crystal Palace coach Roy Hodgson pelted with a round of rotten boos.
The question of precisely who is behind the defensive wall at Arsenal continues to be an intriguing one. A very late goal snatched all three points for The Gunners at Luton on Tuesday night, despite another unconvincing, hammy portrayal of an elite goalkeeper by David Raya. Mikel Arteta will know that if he is to improve on last season’s Premier League placing, any slapstick pratfalls at the back will need to be permanently removed from the script as soon as possible.
Because Saturday’s last, and biggest, Premier League game sees Arsenal head up to Villa Park for a 5:30pm kick-off. And there is nothing overblown and camp about Aston’s Villains right now – they are proving beyond doubt this season that they are a genuinely threatening proposition. More Pinter-esque than Panto-esque, if you will.
The final item on Sunday’s footballing agenda is also its most seismic – Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United is a 4:30pm kick-off.
Postecoglu’s punctured, punch-drunk Spurs continue to attack and flail; as if they have already reached the date of another infamous British festive tradition: Black-Eye Friday. It is an approach that resulted in an unlikely draw at The Etihad last Sunday; but, perhaps more predictably, defeat at home to West Ham on Thursday. Tottenham urgently need to land some three-point knock-out blows, before their slide down the table accelerates.
With Newcastle also receiving a nasty bloodied nose against Everton in their midweek fixture, there will be an equal desire for rabid vengeance. Perhaps, for the safety of all attendees, this bout should take place inside a UFC octagon, rather than a football stadium?
Manchester City are used to having every other team behind them – gnashing their teeth in impotent frustration as the light blue behemoth canters off into the trophy-filled distance.
But with Pep Guardiola now having gone four games without a win for the first time in his career, one wonders if something really is going wrong? Have City become, for one thing, too reliant on the anchoring presence of Rodri?
What do we think kids? Is Pep really struggling? Altogether now: ‘Oh no he isn’t! Oh yes he…’ oh forget it…
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