Manchester City @ 7/5
Arsenal @ 17/10
Liverpool @ 7/1
Chelsea @ 20/1
Manchester United @ 20/1
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It has been quite the summer for avid sports watchers. There has been absolutely no let-up. Sports of all hues and shapes have cascaded thrillingly onto our TV screens over the last couple of months.
That cold-sweat panic, often triggered by approaching close-season boredom, never arrived. In fact, it didn’t even get close.
As a consequence, plants, pets, and partners have all been neglected. Auntie Beryl didn’t get her annual midsummer phone-call. That copy of Finnegans Wake remains immaculately unthumbed on the shelf.
And closing in quickly on the heels of the Olympics Closing Ceremony, like Femke Bol running the last leg of a relay, comes the Premier League 2024/25 Opening Ceremony.
As a consequence, plants, pets and partners have all been neglected.
Except, of course, there isn’t one. No Tom Cruise recklessly hurling himself off The Kop. No Snoop Dogg laying down laid-back rhymes on an overcast Bournemouth Beach. No Celine Dion ululating expansively from the top of the Tyne Bridge.
Such spectacle isn’t needed. Just as it wasn’t in Paris – the real star is the sport.
Which is why, despite the fact Manchester City are stretching and puffing at the start-line of what could well be a fifth consecutive Premier League title triumph, fevered anticipation continues to ferment wildly across the land.
One of the biggest questions to be answered over the coming months is whether Arsenal can finally close the narrow gap between themselves and ultimate glory.
Will the signing of new centre-back – Riccardo Calafiori – create a suitable bridge? Or will The Gunners once again experience that sickness of failure on May 25th 2025 – the kind of persistent stomach pain that can usually only be achieved by swimming in the River Seine for more than 5 minutes?
Another influx of former Ajax talent is heading north-by-northwest, up to Old Trafford to help the Red Devils improve upon last season’s Premier League horror-show. Like James Stewart in Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, Erik ten Hag appears to be trying, rather desperately, to recreate the image of a former love.
But in attempting to rebuild a once-great Ajax side, is he actually just building another malfunctioning Manchester United?
Liverpool awaits the starting pistol of the new campaign with a new manager, but, surprisingly, no fresh XI signings. Some Anfield fans thought they had spotted a new player, but on closer inspection it turned out it was just the latest Banksy stencil.
At the other end of the splurging spectrum, however, sit Chelsea; who take on the defending champions in the biggest fixture of the weekend – Manchester City head to Stamford Bridge for a 4pm kick-off on Sunday.
Chelsea are now in possession of so many players they have become a gigantic, garish-blue, pitch-sized Magic Eye artwork. If you stare at the hundreds of composite parts and tiny shiny shapes for long enough, the faint outline of a football team may emerge.
Is there any method behind their transfer madness? Or if you peer behind the curtain, will you just find an empty room full of slightly better paid madness?
With no Thiago Silva present to bravely try and hold things together, one way or another, Chelsea will be a fascinating watch this season.
And what of the defending champions? No swaggering forays into the transfer market for Manchester City either; in fact, most of the questions surrounding the club relate to who might soon be leaving? Ederson? Kevin de Bruyne?! Pep Guardiola?!!
Will the inquiry into the club’s financial networks lead to any unexpected exits? Or will it be business as usual, both on and off the pitch, up at The Etihad?
Right, well, it looks like my enormous cheque has cleared, so I can finally conclude my rambling speech…and hereby declare the 2024/25 Premier League Season…open! Let the games begin, people!
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