Aston Villa @ 10/3
Arsenal @ 4/5
Draw @ 29/10
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Gameweek 1 is firmly in the books and, well, it delivered pretty much what most people would have expected. The serious title contenders all won. Most of the smaller clubs did not. Spurs were a little bit Spursy. And Chelsea – a team with more players than Taylor Swift has fans – looked a bit disorganised.
Even after one game the top eight contains six teams that will likely be there at the end of the campaign. Could this predictability lead to a waning of interest in the protracted shenanigans of the Premier League? Is the bubble of excitement surrounding the overall product about to go pop?
Arsenal have proved that they are no one-hit wonders.
Or are the writers just easing us into the new season – saying hello to some old characters; quietly introducing some new ones – before springing a shedload of surprises and unexpected twists in Gameweek 2?
Some minor things were different this time round, though. Ipswich Town, for example, have also gone pop. Every game of theirs which is broadcast on TV will now come with the added feature of an Ed Sheeran-Cam. Why watch the game when you can watch a world famous pop-star watch it instead? ‘I wonder if Ed saw the free-kick that sailed 3 feet over the bar?!’ Yes, judging from his reaction, he did.
And what if Ed is not actually at the game? Don’t worry, the commentators will give you regular updates of his whereabouts every 10 minutes. ‘Here is live footage of Ed leaving the gents at Sarajevo Airport! He will now be on his way to – wait, back to Portman Road where I hear there’s been a goal!’
The biggest game of this coming weekend sees Aston Villa host Arsenal in a 5:30pm kick-off on Saturday; hopefully with some unpredictability on the menu.
Following Jhon Durán’s late winner against West Ham last Saturday, TV commentators will once again be reaching excitedly for their Great Big Book of Duran Duran Puns; delighted that they finally have an opportunity to talk about a pop group they actually know and enjoy.
Aston Villa did the double over Arsenal in the Premier League last season – a 1-0 home win in December was followed by a remarkable, impactful 2-0 triumph at The Emirates in April.
The Gunners, therefore, will be very keen to exact some sort of revenge – Hungry Like The Wolf, you might say *enormous wink* – but also, perhaps, a little relieved that dropping points at this stage of the season will prove to be less decisive than it was after their last encounter.
Arsenal have proved that they are no one-hit wonders, but the remaining challenge for them is securing their first #1 chart position since The Invincibles – and that is essentially how good they will have to be to edge past Manchester City. They are under pressure to deliver glory right from the opening notes.
The Aston area of Birmingham isn’t really powered by pop – all four original members of heavy metal pioneers, Black Sabbath, grew-up there; and grizzled stalwarts Ozzy Osbourne and Geezer Butler were featured in Villa’s 2024/25 pre-season hype video.
The challenge will be to see which of the competing acts is able to lock into a harmonious groove most quickly – the intricate, autotuned perfection of Arsenal; or the sharp, penetrating riffs of Aston Villa.
And it’s not just a higher ranking in the Premier League table that will be at stake on Saturday – there is also a back-stage after party with Dua Lipa for the winners…and a private, intimate gig with Peter Andre for the losers.
Come Sunday evening, and the end of this round of fixtures, who will be revealed to be top of the pops?
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