Aaron Rai’s USPGA win struck a chord with Marcus Buckland, who has some idea of the sacrifices Rai and his parents had to make along the way
I was going to play for Tottenham. I was going to open the batting for England. I was going to win Wimbledon. I was going to win the Open. I was going to be a professional footballer. Until I realised that they were nothing but dreams. So I went into sports broadcasting. For a while I considered that to be my second-best option, until I realised that was, of course, my only option. It was a natural fit, and one that allowed me to be a part of so many wonderful sports that I wasn’t blessed with the talent to play.
When I had my two boys, I never imagined that either of them would take up this shared passion of sports, let alone try to pursue a career as a professional athlete. It’s a long, old road, a journey that requires time, determination, commitment and resilience. And that’s just for the parents.
Watching Aaron Rai lift the Wanamaker Trophy after winning the US PGA Championship at Aronimink was a powerful moment to watch, not just as a fan but as a parent. He gave a wonderful speech that paid tribute to his mum and dad, saying, “I can’t put into words how much they’ve done in terms of support, the care and love. I wouldn’t be here without them.”
I love the fact that his dad used to wash his clubs so carefully, get all the dirt out of thegrooves in his irons, use baby oil so they wouldn’t rust, put iron covers on them, and tell Aaron: “You’ve got to respect your equipment. You’ve got to value everything.”
Speaking from personal experience, our son Luca’s tennis path took over our lives, in ways that we could never have expected. And it all started so randomly. Just by coincidence at a Lawn Tennis Writers’ lunch, I won a raffle prize, which I never, ever do. It was a two-hour coaching session with Jo Durie, and I thought, “I’m too old to have a two-hour coaching session with Jo Durie.” So I sent Jago, my oldest son. That’s how it all began.
Our son Luca’s tennis path took over our lives in ways that we could never have expected
While Jago just wanted to play for fun, Luca, my youngest, was different. Incredibly competitive – overly competitive to a certain extent. I’d be thinking, “This is great, but it’s not great,” because he was just bursting into tears.
But beyond Luca’s passion was an obvious ability, a desire. If you are continually forcing them to do something they don’t really want to do, then it’s time to stop. And there were periods when, for whatever reason – bad results or maybe a coach setup that wasn’t quite working – where you ponder, “Hang on a minute, what is this all about?” But Luca, after every defeat, the next day would say, “When’s the next tournament?”
My wife, Olivia, in the early days, hated the stress. Not just the time, but also the emotional commitment. Watching your son or daughter play tennis, or any individual sport, is incredibly stressful. Parents need as much coaching as the kids early on.
Annabel Croft, who is a very good friend of mine, always said to me that when she was hugely successful she was vividly aware of every movement her mother made in the crowd.It really affects the player. So, you’ve got to learn that as a parent. Particularly if your son, as was the case with Luca, is very emotional and starts making the wrong decisions because he’s lost his head, it can be infuriating. That’s when your child needs all the pastoral care and emotional support that a parent can offer.
We were determined, from a very young age, to teach him the right values, so that he could go and transfer that into anything else he might do. His education was paramount, so if the tennis dream didn’t come true, he could then transfer into any other walk of life.
Looking at Aaron Rai, it’s clear that his parents’ values and support have shaped him into not only an excellent golfer, but also a genuinely good person. You only have to look at the reaction from his fellow pros when he won the USPGA. Rory McIlroy said there wouldn’t be one player on the tour who wouldn’t be pleased for him. Ludvig Åberg and Justin Thomas echoed those sentiments.
I love that he stayed grounded and humble, seemingly without social media or a massive entourage. That comes from his mum and dad. It did also get me thinking that perhaps Aaron is an outlier; a nice guy swimming in a sea of simmering intensity. You don’t hear these universal compliments on a player’s character very often.
When you think of the challenges a family has to go through to get to the top of a sport, competitiveness has to be at the core – a trait that perhaps doesn’t always foster goodwill.Golf and tennis are individual sports. You cannot begin to compare the pressure on a tennis player or golfer to somebody within a team. If Aaron Rai does well, that means somebody else is doing less well. Naturally there’s more tension.
In individual sports you do have to be selfish to a degree because ultimately, it’s down to you.Most tennis players I’ve met are good people, but some will look after themselves more ruthlessly than others. Roger Taylor once told me a story about Fred Perry saying to another player, “The problem with you is you’re just not enough of a bastard to become a top tennis player.”
And there’s probably some truth in that. You need that fire inside. Aaron Rai clearly has that, on top of an incredible work ethic. There was that extraordinary stat that he once made more than 200 consecutive 10ft putts. You think about how many hours must have gone into that.
So yes, you need drive and discipline, but you can still do that without being unpleasant.That’s the battle a parent wrestles with when bringing up an aspiring athlete, and one that the Rai family have navigated superbly.
But I go back to what I said before: if you put the right attributes and values into your children, even if they don’t become Aaron Rai, they are much more likely to become successful somewhere else.
Yes, you need drive and discipline, but you can still do that without being unpleasant. That’s the battle.
Luca is now at Santa Clara University, who recently won the West Coast Conference for the first time in the university’s history. He played his part, but he has seen how good you have to be to ‘make it’. The standard at the very top is frightening.
But equally, he’s still improving, and importantly, still dreaming. His coaches believe he has a genuine chance of making it as a professional doubles player, which would be a fantastic achievement. After all, Henry Patten graduated from US college tennis and is now a two-time doubles Grand Slam champion. There are other examples.
Maybe everything suddenly clicks in the next couple of years and he takes on the singles tour.Even if he doesn’t, I will look back on the whole experience with huge fondness.
There were stressful moments, and huge sacrifices, from Luca missing parties as a growing teenager to a period of homeschooling before he went to university. Not to mention the drives home after losses, and weekends where you questioned your sanity. I would do it again, because despite all the stress, there was also a hell of a lot of fun, laughs and family bonding.
We travelled to some interesting places, got to meet some really lovely parents, and the boys still have close friends now from the tennis world they first met when they were 12 or 13 years old. They’ve both gained something that will stay with them for ever. Tennis will remain part of both of their lives into their seventies, eighties or nineties. Jago now does a little coaching himself. The sport has given them an opportunity to flourish in the world.
Perhaps this was always the best outcome. It’s been one hell of a journey, and maybe Luca wasn’t ‘enough of a bastard to become a top tennis player’. Feels like he’s made it in my eyes.
Marcus Buckland is a broadcaster who hosted Sky Sports’ tennis coverage for 12 years.
