MAN UTD vs SOUTHAMPTON, Saturday February 12th, 12:30pm
Man Utd @ 4/7
Southampton @ 9/2
Draw @ 16/5
view odds
People like me, who are fans of critically-reviled early-90s American comedies, will be able to recall and recite the plot of the John Goodman film King Ralph with all the rigour and reverence of a Puritan bible reading.
But you’re probably not like me. So, for the benefit of you less-devout souls: in the film King Ralph Goodman plays a man who, following a freak accident, becomes the unexpected and ill-suited head of what is presented as a wealthy but old-fashioned, out-dated, nostalgia-fuelled dynasty. In this instance, the British Royal Family. And ‘hilarity’ duly ensues.
Now, I’m not saying that this is what has happened to Ralf Rangnick at Old Trafford: that he too is the wrong person for the job; which he gained as a result of a series of disasters; and that Manchester United is a creaking, dusty institution in thrall to past glories, past players, past managers and…wait, wait, yes, actually that is exactly what I am saying.
Gameweek 25 looks set to be a crucial one for King Ralf. Because he has not one but two chances to fail to impart his heralded tactical brilliance upon his players.
Or perhaps the on-going problems lie solely with those players? At times it seems they are starring in their very own comedic movie: a bloated, big-budget slapstick extravaganza featuring pampered stars, calamitous tantrums, and clashing egos – it could well be called The Unmanageables.
The first Premier League game of the weekend sees Manchester United entertain Southampton in the midday kick-off on Saturday.
This fixture also presents a seldom seen one-on-one clash on the undercard: Ralf (Rangnick) v Ralph (Hasenhüttl) – an epic battle to determine, once and for all, which is the superior spelling of the ancient Germanic Christian name. Who here will be anointed as the King?
The Austrian’s Saints will arrive in Manchester full of the pomp and circumstance of glorious war, having creditably held Manchester City at home in their last weekend Premier League match, and after eventually beating Tottenham Hotspur in a chaotic away game on Wednesday.
The latter clash might have left Antonio Conte tearing his hair out in frustration (if those scintillating chestnut filaments hadn’t been so meticulously and expensively embroidered into his scalp) but it could also just be the case that Southampton are, all of a sudden, and to the surprise of many, actually quite good.
Manchester United will then bookend this round of fixtures on Tuesday night, when another South Coast club, Brighton, make their way up North to the Theatre of Recurring Dreams.
Although short of emphatic wins, Graham Potter’s Seagulls are unbeaten in the Premier League since mid-December – impressively holding Chelsea on two occasions along the way – and with centre-back Adam Webster now garnering attention from the most attractive corners of the footballing dancefloor.
So what may have looked, on first glance, like a good weekend for Manchester United to get 6 points on the board – and to re-establish a foothold in the top four – is, on closer inspection, a decidedly tricky brace of games.
Could King Ralf’s reign be on the brink of descending into tragedy? And can something truly be called a tragedy if it provides so much warmth and mirth for others? Notably, the rest of the contenders for Champions League qualification? There is still much left to ponder…
I shall conclude this week with one more tenuous movie-world reference as Roy Hodgson makes his first home appearance for Watford at the Hornets’ nest of Vicarage Road on Saturday. Because another thing I have learned over the years from inferior American movies is that if you are, perhaps slightly reluctantly, persuaded out of retirement for one last job…the outcome is never personally positive.
Though it may provide big explosions and thrilling car chases and bank robberies for the rest of us. Good luck, Roy!
