Cricket might just be the tonic for the world’s ills, says Mark Sharman after a summer afternoon at Lords.
It’s fair to say I’m one of life’s pessimists. My outlook on life could be a synopsis for a Ken Loach film; I make Eeyore look jolly, my glass is not even half empty – it’s the dregs of a pint left outside a pub on the pavement with fag ends left to stew. You get the idea.
Throw in the world today – Trump, tariffs, war and Liverpool winning the league (I’m a bitter Blue) – and my mood is on a par with Southampton’s points total.
However, help is at hand. On Friday 4 April our ‘summer’ sport got under way with the first round of County Championship fixtures, throwing up a tantalising prospect in the world of Tailenders, the loosely cricket-based podcast I have produced for the past seven and a half years, presented by BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show host Greg James, musician and writer Felix White and Jimmy Anderson, some bloke you might have heard of who is quite good at this cricket malarky.
I say “plan”, but it was a plan in the same way Liz Truss had a plan for the UK economy – in essence, we said we’d be going to Lord’s and if any listeners wanted to join us they’d be most welcome. That was it.
What could go wrong? Yes we needed the rain to stay away and for Lancs not to be batting, but apart from those uncontrollable factors (not sure what the odds were), everything was set fair for a day out at the home of cricket. But with days to go, my phone pinged with the news Jimmy was injured and wouldn’t be playing.
Should we still go? No offence to Toby Roland-Jones and Keaton Jennings, but was the allure of watching second division cricket while shivering in ‘spring’ weather still a pull now that Jimmy wasn’t playing? Of course it was. So, just a few days after Liverpool had won the Merseyside derby and moved inexorably to another title, I set off to Lord’s for a day I hoped would soothe the soul and banish the litany of depressing news. And the cricketing gods were smiling that day.
I set off to Lord’s for a day I hoped would soothe the soul and banish the litany of depressing news.
After negotiating the weird ‘mini-hurricane’ that greets you as you leave St John’s Wood tube station – it’s like some strange weather vortex that blows through the doors – I emerged into glorious sunshine and proceeded to the North Gate to meet Matt Horan, aka Mattchin Tendulkar.
Matt is a regular podcast contributor, quiz creator, cricket influencer, roll-up shoe salesman, distantly related to the great Sachin Tendulkar. His back story is too complicated to go into here; you’ll have to listen to the podcast. I think he first appeared in episode 3.
On arrival, we were shocked to be greeted by something not often seen at county cricket: a queue. Now, we Brits love a queue, but with time ticking towards the start time of eleven o’clock, this was an unexpected annoyance. Someone nearby quipped: “And they say county cricket is dead,” to which another wag responded with: “Which is ironic, as most who watch it are close to death.”
Yes, some of those walking – or should I say shuffling – past us and heading to the members’ areas were no doubt on the Grim Reaper’s ‘to-do’ list, but it was also noticeable how many young people were there.
On arrival, we were shocked to be greeted by something not often seen at county cricket: a queue.
Once in – someone at Lord’s eventually worked out the situation and reinforcements were sent to open more ticket booths – we settled into a spot in the Compton Lower, and that’s when the magic happened. While the serene ebb and flow of the match revealed itself on the pitch, off it our group of Tailenders slowly grew. Greg and Felix turned up midway through the first session and we were soon surrounded by people who also wanted to be bathed in the comfort of cricket.
There was Susie, who had brought a scorebook which was passed round for everyone to do a few overs; Sam, who had travelled down from Sheffield; Joseph, a kid who had made his own Tailenders hoodie; a listener dressed in a shirt emblazoned with ‘Mattchin’s face’; and players from Herts and Middlesex CC disability teams, to name but a few of our merry band.
The crowd (and by this point it was a crowd) rose mid-afternoon to greet Elly Oldroyd – legendary sports presenter and the ‘Queen of Tailenders’ – with a standing ovation.
To a soundtrack of the famous Lord’s ‘hum’, interrupted with the comforting knock of leather on willow, the world seemed a better place. Looking across the outfield, surrounded by like-minded folk, it dawned on me that, you know what, everything is going to be OK. For one beautiful afternoon the Tangerine Tyrant in the White House and rest of the news agenda were no match for the wonderful sport of cricket.
Mark Sharman — aka Sharky — is the producer of The Tailenders podcast.
