Sunday 3rd September, 4:30pm
Arsenal @ 5/6
Man Utd @ 3/1
Draw @ 3/1
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Written by Paul McCartney, She Came In Through The Bathroom Window was a song inspired by some real-life unexpected arrivals – a number of female fans who broke into his St. John’s Wood house while he was away, caused a bit of chaos, and stole a few personal belongings.
The track was included on the last-recorded (but not last-released) Beatles album Abbey Road – a collection which, despite the irreparable breakdown of relationships between the famous four band members, somehow emerged as a polished and cohesive entity.
With the football transfer window set to close for the summer, this week has also seen a number of new arrivals at various Premier League outfits – some more unexpected than others. But will their integration into their fresh squads and formations also result in surprisingly successful on-pitch harmony?
I’m aways amazed how top flights clubs – multi-million pound business operations, lest we forget – still frequently find themselves in a state of chaotic, 5:50pm-on-Christmas-Eve disarray at this time of the season. Pinballing recklessly around the Player Store sale aisle with an empty trolley; breathlessly grabbing at the first available, unspoiled turnip they can get their hands on.
Surely there is a better way to go about this? Though, to be fair, where would the fun be in that? And Fabrizio Romano has got to make a living somehow…
This article will likely appear before the summer window has properly closed, so I may well have missed a significant late switch. Let me just take this opportunity, therefore, to say I was thoroughly shocked to see Sofyan Ambrabat/Eric Choupo-Moting/Mo Salah* make the move to Chelsea/Stoke City/A Team In Saudi Arabia I Have Never Heard Of* (*please delete where appropriate).
Manchester United’s last-minute supermarket sweep has been made even more desperate by recent injuries – Luke Shaw and Tyrell Malacia both finding themselves left back in the treatment room.
While a move to fill this void with Marc Cucurella has been scotched (at the time of writing, anyway) two former Chelsea players will square-off in an epic battle on Sunday to see who has made the better transition into life away from the Stamford Bridge splurge factory – Arsenal host Manchester United at 4:30pm in Gameweek 4’s biggest fixture.
Neither Kai Havertz nor Mason Mount – who both came in through the transfer window – have hit the ground running for their respective sides. And their surrounding squads, symptomatically, also find themselves a little below the expected early pace. Casual pre-season smiles of hope and optimism have quickly been replaced by sharp winces and rictus grimaces on the terraces.
Were Havertz and Mount really the players their new clubs needed? Were they really both worth in the region of £60 million, especially given their recent form? Was their 2022/23 decline a result of personal recession and deterioration, or were they simply an under-utilised, un-loved, unlubricated cog – an inconsequential part of a fatally malfunctioning, overarching system – who just needed to be given the correct instruction manual in order to flourish at the highest level?
One hopes this ‘Chelsea Chopped Liver Derby’ will help outline answers to at least some of the above posers. But while medium-sized question marks continue to hover over Kai Havertz and his suitability as an attacking focal-point, enormous ones currently pursue the Manchester United spearhead Rasmus Højlund; who has been pencilled-in to make his Premier League debut at The Emirates.
Because with just 18 senior goals to his name – only 9 of which were in the Serie A – nobody knows exactly how great this Dane will be…
So while one window closes, another one – one of expectation and opportunity – opens. But who is sufficiently prepared; who possesses the necessary skills to come though it?
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