Sunday 26th August, 4:30pm
Newcastle @ 5/4
Liverpool @ 29/10
Draw @ 19/10
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With the announcement of Theo Walcott’s retirement last week, one’s thoughts cannot help but dwell on the nature of expectation. The forward was thrust into the national consciousness in a delirious, salivating maelstrom of anticipation – hastily fast-tracked into the 2006 England World Cup squad before anyone really knew who he was and what he could do.
Had the nation really chanced upon another embryonic, generational talent; another Wayne Rooney-level pitch magician?
But while Walcott has been able to hold on to his record for being England’s youngest ever senior player over the course of his career, his mercurial pace gradually diminished – spike-stripped by age and injuries. And, despite being a top-flight attacker for 18 years, he ultimately failed to register 100 Premier League goals.
For me, Walcott’s greatest contribution to sport was his assessment that over the course of a recently completed season he had been ‘consistent in patches’ – an oxymoron of rare, Wildean brevity and wit. As well as being a fairly accurate summation of his career as a whole.
With just two games played in the current Premier League season, it is hard to resist the temptation to get caught up in the delirium, and make audacious sweeping predictions once again; just like we did at the beginning of Theo Walcott’s career.
New Chelsea signing Moisés Caicedo, following a poor 30 minutes against West Ham, has been declared an outrageous flop; an unsalvageable boondoggle. ‘Wataru Endō is actually a much better player; always has been; not sure why they didn’t go for him from the start!’
Broadsheet peans have been composed for Postecoglu – the new Tottenham boss having won a solitary Premier League game. Manchester United are, conversely, an utter shambles – as bad as they’ve ever been – even though they lost both of their opening games last season and were propping up the table heading into gameweek three.
The simple fact is, we can never really know how things will turn out. Oh sure, there may be clues and ominous early portents. But new players and new managerial systems can take a while to adapt to new surroundings. And sometimes just one well-timed tackle; one unifying, unexpected victory; can cause everything to magically fall into place.
Which is one of the main reasons why we continue to tune in every week – we want to see those moments; those epiphanies. Instances that Aristotle, if he suddenly found himself doing TV co-commentary with Martin Tyler, might describe as an anagnorisis.
We want to see if a particular player can suddenly achieve realisation as a consistent top level performer…and not just in patches…
But maybe it is getting harder to be patient? We are all armed with so much information; so much selective evidence to prove our damning, knee-jerk accusations – touch and possession stats, heat maps and tactics boards, ‘expected goals’ and ‘decent pass’ percentages are repeatedly clubbing us about the head within seconds of the final whistle.
Intricate insider details are everywhere too; suffocating us. Why on earth, for example, as a watcher and enjoyer of football matches, do I need to know what ‘player amortisation’ means?
Maybe the very simple answer is that I don’t. Maybe all this stuff is as welcome and necessary as a robust kiss on the lips from Luis Rubiales. Maybe we should all just kick back and try and enjoy the show a bit more – save the doom-mongering and hysteria for, ooh, let’s say, around Christmas time?
Perhaps we can rediscover that old joy in the biggest and final fixture of the weekend? Newcastle v Liverpool meet at 4:30pm on Sunday – two teams who have shown positive signs from their opening salvos, but two teams who have already dropped points.
How optimistic should their respective fans be about the rest of the season? Let’s just wait and see for now, shall we?
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