Saturday 1st April, 12:30pm
Man City @1/4
Liverpool @5/1
Draw @11/1
view odds
Litres of sweat; chemically spheroidised muscles; tight, bright, lycra outfits; and convoluted feuds that no-one really understands or cares about – save for a few basement-dwelling bloggers and nerds.
Now, that may well be an accurate description of the Tour de France, but in this instance I’m actually talking about Wrestlemania! Because the choreographed ego jamboree galumphs and grimaces over the course of two pyro-packed evenings at LA’s sparkling SoFi Stadium on Saturday and Sunday.
And, much like this weekend’s Premier League action, that means two main events – one to crown each card. Headlining Saturday’s slate of football fixtures is the marquee midday match-up between Manchester City and Liverpool.
Weighing in at 2,200lbs, and to be accompanied to the pitch by their manager ‘The Gurning German’ Jürgen Klopp, Liverpool face something of a reckoning over the next ten days.
In what the WWE would hyperbolically bill as Three Stages of Hell; a trilogy of tough, treacherous clashes awaits the Merseyside Big Red Machine.
Liverpool will have to contend with Manchester City this Saturday, Chelsea away on Tuesday, and Arsenal at home next Sunday. Truly the most terrifying sequence of days since a poor, unfortunate girl met Craig David on a Monday.
Although unlikely to prove fatal, a poor return of points could put an ugly dent into Liverpool’s Champions League qualification hopes – their only remaining attainable prize.
Conversely, should they emerge from this difficult triptych relatively unscathed, a reanimated Klopp could use the residual momentum to haul his side back into the top four; adding zest to his plans to rebuild the current squad in the summer at the same time.
In recent seasons a Manchester City v Liverpool match at this stage of the campaign would have effectively been a Premier League title play-off. The fact that in 2023 it is not highlights the scale of the Anfield outfit’s present slump. The stakes remain sizeable, though, and a Liverpool win will still have significant title ramifications – it’s just that the beneficiary on this occasion will be Arsenal.
Klopp has the chance to salvage something from this season. But it is going to be a testing ten days. And for a manager who has looked weary over the last few months; who has at times wrestled with mania; and whose teeth have frequently been exposed in a fearsome, dazzling rictus of rage…we will know for sure, when this period is over, if he really is still up for the fight.
A returning Luis Díaz could provide some much-needed spark when the bell rings on Saturday; and, in other propitious Liverpool news, Erling Haaland may not be available to execute his repertoire of devastating finishing manoeuvres.
Sunday’s main event is another tantalising top-six six-pointer. Newcastle host Manchester United with just three points separating the sides, and three points at stake.
Attention has been drawn to the paucity of goals provided by Manchester United’s current #9 Wout Weghorst, though his overall contribution to the functionality of the forward line has been praised.
But what if they had a player in their squad who, in the last week, had undergone a fairly miraculous Paul Warhurst-like transformation from defensive midfield clogger into an white-hot goal-merchant? A player who has been infrequently used this season and will, therefore, be as fresh as a cotton thistle?
‘Ladies and Gentlemen, coming down the aisle, The Power of Scotland, The Hampden van Basten, The Lancaster Lewandowski…Scott Mc-Tom-in-aaaay!’ Could four well-taken goals in two matches during the international break really persuade Erik ten Hag to suddenly doubt the Wout and allot the Scott?
Perhaps the team that best embodies the spirit of Wrestlemania, however – that almost seems to enjoy the chaos, the carnage, the stupid storylines, the terrible acting, the entertain-at-all-costs attitude – is Tottenham Hotspur. Will the biggest fireworks, the real main event actually land on Monday night, when the precarious post-Conte era gets underway?
For all your bets on the Premier League, visit our dedicated football betting page.
