MAN UTD VS ARSENAL
Sunday 12th May, 4:30pm
Man Utd @ 13/2
Arsenal @ 4/11
Draw @ 9/2
view odds
The Theatre of Dreams? More like The Theatre of Nightmares; The Theatre of the Absurd; or, perhaps, its most recent incarnation, The Theatre of Screams. Old Trafford is just another once-great British theatre crying out loud for urgent renovation.
Unlike other struggling, crumbling theatrical auditoriums across the land, however; getting bums on seats is not an issue in this instance. The bums continue to stream through the turnstiles in great numbers. It’s just that the performances they witness are consistently terrible – vitriolic 2* reviews across the board; yet, somehow, there are no signs of early-closing notices being posted.
Old Trafford has acquired the curious ability to divest elite footballers of all their talents – strip them naked of their skills – to the extent that they run onto the pitch with their shortcomings exposed; unsure of the simple basics of the sport.
And it is not just on the pitch where established, robust reputations are reduced to rubble. Lauded managers are no longer able to manage; revered coaches leave their motivational techniques behind on the coach.
Lauded managers are no longer able to manage.
This week, several ex-pros were baffled how Steve McClaren – considered an excellent coach, if not quite an excellent manager – could have possibly been involved with the Manchester United team that walked out onto Selhurst Park on Monday night; an XI who possessed all the composure, organisation, and strategy of a group of spooked, runaway horses.
Champions League football next season is already off the table for Manchester United. And the prospect of no European football at all is currently being pencilled onto the agenda instead. Is the obvious answer, then, to sack the manager?
For some, there is an increasing belief that there are no obvious answers anymore. Is there any real point in sacking the manager? What difference would it make when the end result will likely be the same? The new guy will come in, things will look promising for a bit, and then the world’s most expensive red Jenga tower will start to wobble alarmingly once again.
This is just how it is going to be from now on. The Theatre of Dreams has become the site of recurring nightmares. A grim Möbius strip of inevitable outcomes. Which was, fittingly, one of the characteristics of the Theatre of the Absurd movement – espoused by the likes of Samuel Becket and Harold Pinter – where the plays often ended with the same situation; the same state of affairs as they had begun.
Could Manchester United somehow find a way to escape from this brutal loop this weekend? Most likely not. Manchester United v Arsenal is a 4:30pm kick-off on Sunday.
The world’s most expensive red Jenga tower will start to wobble.
Arsenal’s dreams, in contrast, are of a much more pleasing disposition at the moment – coloured by feelings of warmth and hope, and still including the possibility (though faint) of lifting the Premier League trophy on May 19th.
They are still winning games, they have a better goal-difference than Manchester City (at the time of writing); players are in form, and they are frequently entertaining to watch. There also seems to be a feeling that, even if this campaign does end without glory, it has all been worthwhile; they have improved as a team; and, importantly, are now only one very minor tweak away from being the total package.
After months of chin-stroking and deliberation the consensus has finally decided that Kai Havertz is actually good at football. And he will need to be on Sunday. Because despite current trajectories, Arsenal’s Premier League record at Old Trafford remains dreadful – only one win on the Salford turf since 2006.
Can The Gunners ensure that the curtain does not come down on this season a week early?
Will there be an instant standing ovation in their corner of the stadium at the final whistle? Or will the screams from the home fans be propelled by rare elation?
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