Sunday 8th October, 4:30pm
Arsenal @ 19/10
Draw @ 5/2
Man City @ 7/5
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‘Well, I don’t think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error.’
Thus spake the HAL 9000 supercomputer in the Stanley Kubrick’s sci-fi classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. Attempting to explain why two computers have given a different reading, HAL simply opts to blame us useless humans. But was he correct to do so?
Well, in the film it is actually HAL who is malfunctioning. And when he learns that the human astronauts are planning to disconnect him, he starts killing them off.
Now, I’m not suggesting that another supercomputer with a name comprised of three letters – VAR, for example – may be planning to do the same. (Though after last weekend’s furore, emanating from the Tottenham v Liverpool game, he may well be tempted to try.) No, I’m merely pointing-out that in the non-fictional world, humans frequently are to blame for technology going wrong.
The existence, indeed prevalence, of human error also explains why conspiracy theories are mostly nonsense. Because the people said to be carrying out the alleged cover-ups – governments, ruling bodies, football referees – simply aren’t competent enough to do the things of which they are accused.
And the most recent VAR debacle was a classic example of this. Football fans often believe there is a conspiracy against their club – perceived biases and decisions that have gone against the side you support can rankle and be cited as proof for years on end – but the prosaic reality is that incompetence is the most likely factor behind any erroneous decision.
Hardly the most comforting thought to take into this weekend’s Premier League fixtures; and, in theory, the very thing that VAR was supposed to eradicate, but, hey, that’s basically where we are right now. And for someone who is frequently complaining about there being too many games, Jürgen Klopp would be wise not to mention new ways of creating even more.
‘I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything. *expletive*’
The word ‘incompetence’ has also featured prominently, in the biggest and boldest letters, in the Manchester United word cloud this week. New signing André Onana becoming the latest player to regress to a sub-Sunday League level as soon as he has pulled on a Red Devils shirt.
What is the cause of this regression? Does a debilitating fear of making a glaring error lead directly to the making of a glaring error? Or, conversely, do these bungles arise out of complacency – derived from a feeling that, having arrived at a really big club, you have already won; you have essentially completed football? Could an indecisive, incoherent, or player-blind manager also be to blame?
Or, is the cause of these mistakes the very same that affected the residents of the Hub at Stockley Park last weekend? Just good old-fashioned, pre-existing, garden-variety incompetence?
Manchester United will look to get their season back on track (again) at home to Brentford at 3pm on Saturday afternoon.
One hopes that calamities, either on or off the pitch, aren’t prominently mentioned in this weekend’s showpiece Premier League fixture. A salivatory encounter between last season’s two best teams – Arsenal v Manchester City is a 4:30pm KO on Sunday.
Have they been the best two teams of the 2023/24 campaign so far? Both have experienced recent defeats, and both have looked to blame high-profile injuries for their relative disfunction. Losing Bukayo Saka, though, would be particularly heavy blow for an Arsenal side who have depended – perhaps a bit too much? – on the ever-presence of the young England attacker.
After last week’s surprising set-back against Wolves, Manchester City will no doubt be viewing this match-up as an opportunity to re-assert a vice-like dominance over their nearest rivals. And will a potentially depleted Arsenal be able to do anything to stop them?
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