Man United @ 27/20
Spurs @ 7/4
Draw @ 29/10
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It has been a strange week in the world of Premier League football. For days, the ashes of the white-hot Manchester City v Arsenal conflagration have been raked over and picked through.
Images have become seared upon memories, yellow cards have been analysed as if they revealed new information about the JFK assassination, and unexpected phrases have lingered on lips.
There has been talk of conspiracies, of ‘staying humble’, and numerous references have been made to that nebulous, shadowy, but pervasive footballing concept: the dark arts.
That Mikel Arteta has been compared to the shaman of sneakiness this week is something of a badge of honour..
Though never officially acknowledged, the dark arts have been present in association football since the Laws of the Game were codified in 1863 – lurking between the lines like an evil, ever-present Thomas Müller. And over the years these undocumented tricks – of feigning and faking; of rule-bending and time-wasting – have evolved alongside any official changes.
But as we entered the 21st Century these dark arts seemed to become more prominent – studied with renewed rigour, applied with greater conviction, and finessed to a new GIA grading – following the arrival of a charismatic new pioneer from a distant land. The Aleister Crowley of football management; the Portuguese prestidigitator; the self-anointed Special One: José Mourinho.
That Mikel Arteta has been compared to the shaman of sneakiness this week is something of a badge of honour. It shows that he is stockpiling new, different kinds of ammo to his managerial arsenal; he is now unafraid to fully embrace his dark side. Which is something he will surely have to do, because the competition between Arsenal and Manchester City has reached a new plateau of fractious intensity.
Perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising that a Spaniard is comfortable espousing the darker arts. Iconic Iberian artist, Franciso Goya, was, after all, famous for his Black Paintings – an occasionally terrifying sequence of works depicting a fear of insanity and a bleak outlook on the world.
Is Mikel Arteta toiling over similar canvasses, depicting the darker crafts, in an unlit studio deep beneath The Emirates? Leicester City will be the first to find out – The Foxes head to North London for a 3pm kick-off on Saturday.
There will be a darkness overshadowing Manchester City this weekend too. The prolonged absence of another Spanish artist – injured midfield bulwark, Rodri – is sure to create a problematic black hole in the centre of the pitch for the Sky Blues. Can it be suitably patched up or painted over?
Newcastle United will be hoping to add some of their distinctive white stripes to the inky vacuum when they welcome the table-toppers to St. James’ Park for Saturday’s lunchtime starter.
Perhaps the most intriguing fixture of Gameweek 6, however, features two teams currently stuck in mid-table – Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur is a 4:30pm kick-off on Sunday.
The art of both sides is yet to be clearly interpreted or understood so far this season. What are any of their displays about? Do they have a distinctive style? And, most importantly, are they any good? The critics are yet to pass judgement.
The pressure is beginning to mount for both clubs, though. More dropped points and boos will begin to characterise their weekly exhibitions. More defeats and both sides could quickly find themselves immersed in what is known, with reference to the works of Pablo Picasso, as a Blue Period – a time when the titan of Spanish art fell into a deep depression and, consequently, could only paint gloomy pictures in hues of solemn blue.
Are Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur teetering on the brink of such a trough? Did their respective Europa League performances this week give us any clues?
And who will survive their demons this weekend? Who will get beaten black and blue? Is anyone else in the division even remotely close to completing their masterpiece?
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